Saturday, February 19, 2011

We have decided...

that we are Not suburb people. At least not this point in our lives.

When we discovered during thanksgiving break of our 2nd year of college that we were going to be parents we freaked a bit. And I don't feel guilty saying that. I think any 19 and 20 year olds would. I think we probably handled it better than a lot of people our age would.

Within a month we came back to DU (where we were going to college, but we were on break back in IA) packed up our dorm rooms (yes, Jasper was conceived in a dorm room...probably halloween night) and had moved into a 'married student housing' apartment at Northern Iowa. I didn't want to go back to DU pregnant. I didn't want to be pregnant 10 hours away from my mom. Plus, being the pregnant chick in a dorm room? No thanks. My other main reason was that I would be moving back to IA during the summer anyway, and really didn't want to go to a doctor in Denver my entire pregnancy and then back to IA in June, with all new doctors and deliver in July. So we transferred back for a semester.

After Jasper was born and we were heading back to DU so at least Drew could finish there ( amazing business school) I decided that 'right' thing to do was move far away from DU and into the burbs. I thought to be a good mom I had to get as far away from a college campus as possible and do all the 'typical mom' stuff, like mom groups, and play dates and all that jazz. But the thing it took me a while to realize is that 1- those things don't make you a good mom, and 2 you can do all those things in the city also.

 I think 21 year old me felt that I had a lot to prove to everyone else. I felt I had to prove that just because I was 21, and Jasper obviously wasn't planned,that I could still be a good mom. But you know what? I'm a damn good mom. ANd I have been right from the start. Being a young mom doesn't make me a bad mom. Just like being a 35 year old first time mom doesn't make you Any more prepared (okay, maybe financially) or better at it.

I felt, probably rightly so, that I was being judged by everyone. Hell I STILL feel like I'm being a judge. Not only am I a 24 year old with a soon to be 4 year old, but I also happen to look like I'm about 16. But this need to prove to everyone else that I'm a good mom? Disappeared a long time ago.

Wanna know how I Know I'm a good mom?

I could list a billion little reasons about how so far I have raised a kind, sweet, talented, smart, curious, healthy, even bilingual little boy. And about how loving is, and randomly comes up to me and says "Mom, you're my person in the whole world" (I tell him he's my favorite person, but he forgets the word favorite) completely out of the blue. Or about how 'organic' I have turned him, because he always asks if his fruit is 'gorganic' before eating it. And about how he thinks fruit is better than candy and will randomly ask for ' an apple, a pear and an orange' for dinner.

But those aren't even the things that matter.

I know I'm a good mom, because He. Is. My. Whole. World. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him, and I know, that without a doubt, He knows this.

And wow this has gotten so sidetracked. But basically I started this blog post to say that in three weeks we will no longer be suburbianites. We will officially be residents of Denver. And we will be able to walk to Drew's work. And restaurants. And top rated schools. And WHOLE FOODS.

Can you tell I'm excited??

1 comment:

  1. hurray!!! good for you. (plus, i freaking love denver and whole foods, i worked at the cherry creek store ;) and I'm almost 30 and when i finally have my own kid(s) i will NOT be prepared and i hope i can feel the same as you. as long as they are your priority, that's the best thing you can do. make them your world, and you can't go wrong in my eyes (er, unless you start putting him in beauty pageants!) cheers to living in wonderful denver :D