Friday, June 28, 2013

"Mommy Wars"

If you have been a mom for more then 4 seconds, you have sadly most likely been a part of, directly or indirectly, some sort of 'mommy war.' Let me tell you, moms can be vicious! After nearly 6 years of this whole motherhood deal I've been targeted (online and in person) for:

A 'natural' birth
having had a c-section
having breastfeed Jasper
not breastfeeding Jasper long enough and having to switch to formula by 2-3 months
breastfeeding Tindra and breastfeeding her 'too long'
Not breastfeeding Tindra long enough
vaccinating my children
opting to go with delayed vaccinations
being a stay at home mom
getting out once in a while
not getting out enough
eating organic food
not eating 100% organic
being a 'helicopter' mom
not being 'helicopter' enough
sending Jasper to a church based preschool
Not sending Jasper to a private kindergarten
spoiling my children
not giving them 'enough'
cloth diapering Tindra
Not cloth diapering Jasper

And this is Such a short list. I could probably go on and on, but it's exhausting. For everything I've done that people think is 'right' like breastfeeding for just under 12 months for example, there are people saying 'gross, don't breastfeed, or 'only breast feeding the first 6 months, after that there aren't any real benefits' (wrong, by the way.)

There are very few right or wrong answers when it comes to parenting. We can only do what we feel is right for our families. And that can look totally different for everyone, so let's try to cut out the mom bashing shall we? And let's just assume most moms and dads are doing what feels right for them?

What sparked this post after so long in the mom game? I really thought I had seen it all, but then I made the mistake of asking a simple question on a car seat forum, asking for recommendations for our up coming trips on dual screen dvd players so I could have one for Jasper forward facing and one for Tindra rear facing. 

I got some great responses. But then I got some craaazy ones. Like " You are going to fry your childs brain by letting them watch a movie" and "dvd players are projectiles in a car, you absolutely can NOT have anything in your car that doesn't come with the car except for car seats and a purse that is zipped up and buckled in the front seat"

Uhm, great advice and all, but let's start with the first crazy comment (and there were several of each just worded differently, some more rude then others.)

My children don't watch a lot of TV. Some days 20 minutes here and there of a cartoon, some days none at all for days in a row. And when I say children, I basically mean Jasper because Tindra doesn't sit still long enough to watch even 5 minutes of TV. Jasper didn't sit down and watch a whole 25 minute cartoon till he was 3. Until then he was too busy to even notice if the TV was on or not. So yeah, I think having a couple of DVD players for my sanity and their boredom on a 11-12 hr solo car trip is perfectly acceptable. If you choose not to let your child have any TV time their childhood, that's great for you, and I won't judge you for it at all. In fact, that's fantastic. Sometimes I wish I could throw out the TV, but I don't see that happening any time soon (or probably ever) so I guess my children will be 'rotting' their brains from time to time. 

And just for the record, Jasper's brain isn't the slightest bit fried. He's the smartest little boy I know and is reading chapter books by himself at 5, so I think his brain is perfectly fine. Plus, he got the highest grade available in data and probability on his report card. I barely know that that is AND I didn't grow up watching really any TV.  I'm pretty sure he's going to be smarter then I am by the time he's 10, with or without any TV watching. 

And for the second set of crazy statements, I get that objects in a car can become projectiles in the even of a crash. I've seen the reports. And it's terrifying. I'm a big 'safety nerd.' I will be rear facing Tindra as long as possible, hopefully till she's 4. Jasper is almost 6 and still in a 5 point harness because I don't quite trust boosters yet. I do everything I can to keep them safe. But I also have to be realistic. And on an 11 hour trip that will take us to Iowa where we will spend 10 days there will be projectiles in the car, with our without a dvd player. There will be clothes. And shoes. And bottles, sippy cups and snacks. Toys, books, dvds. Cell phones and chargers. Cups of coffee. All projectiles. Adding one more to that crazy mix isn't going to make a difference either way. But try telling those moms that. When I commented back saying we would need all that stuff her response was 

"well then don't go. If you can't get your family there safely, it isn't wise to travel"

So because I can't drive across three states with an EMPTY vehicle I shouldn't go? Right. That makes a whole lot of sense. 

I gave up after that comment. Because really, can you debate with someone like that? I'm ALL for a good, fair debate. Drew would say I enjoy a good debate just a liiiitle too much. But I can't even bother with those kinds of statements. 

I'm not going to lock my children in a bubble and not allow them to experience the world because of possible dangers that are unfortunately around every corner. 

What 'mom' wars have you been a part of? Do you even bother debating/explaining your point of view? And what's the craziest thing someone has said to you in regards to parenting, I'd love to hear them!

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Thursday, June 27, 2013

Just write.

I have no idea how it's already Thursday. And almost July. This summer is FLYING. And the busy part hasn't even started! Mid July the kids and I head to Iowa for about 10 days where I will be leaving T for the first time (and Jasper but not for the first time) to head up to Minnesota for a friends bachelorette party. Then after we get back it's my biiirthdaaaaay (27!) and then a few days later head over to Yellowstone national park for 5-6 days where Jasper will be turning 6 (WHAT?!?) and THEN we go camping in the Rockies, then a week later head back to Iowa for two weddings over 10 days then come back and Jasper starts first grade the day after. Exhausting just thinking about it! If you weren't doing the math, that will be about 70 plus hours in the car with both kids just to get to Iowa and back and to yellowstone and back. Jealous? 

I'm a pretty terrible blogger since I've failed to mention that Tindra is now finally full on walking. Started a few weeks ago. She had taken a step here or there, but then one day she walked across the entire room, slowly, without stopping or falling and she's been unstoppable ever since. I had known for weeks that she could do it if she really wanted to, but it's almost like she had to be sure she could commit 100% before trying it. Little perfectionist already? 

My little peanut had her 14 month appointment on Tuesday and is finally just under 20 pounds! She's had a little growth spurt and she jumped from 15% weight to about 30%! 

Couch to 5k...Ugh. I wish I could say I am now running a 5k effortlessly but damn it's just not happening for me! I'm SUCh an anti runner, I'm horrible horrible at it and I want NOT to be! So I keep slowly chugging along. For some reason I can't get past the "Run 8 minutes, walk 5, run 8 minutes" I can do that one fine but then the next plan is to just straight up run 20 minutes without stopping and I just can't seem to get there! Any tips from non runners turned runners? 

Can't believe it's the 4th next week! This is the first time in a long time that we have been in Denver for the 4th (last year we were in Iowa and the year before that in Sweden, obviously NOT celebrating) so I have no clue on what's going on! Any locals know? I have heard a bunch of fireworks are canceled due do all the fires and how dry it is (come on rain!!) but there has to be some going on!! 

We went to a wedding Saturday evening at the Botanical Gardens here in Denver, (gorgeous gardens) and found an old picture of Jasper and I taken there three summers ago, look how much he has changed!

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

What's for dinner? Veggie Tacos.

I feel like I'm often in a cooking rut and make the same 4-5 things for dinner, so I'm trying to get better about that and cook more of a variety! I really have no excuse. We are well out of the newborn stage, I'm not pregnant and sick (excuses I've made for myself in the past for not cooking very often) so it's time to get back to regular cooking! I'll be sharing some of the things we eat here if anyone else needs some new ideas! I also welcome ANY yummy meals you have to share!!

Last night I had a bunch of peppers and zucchini to use up so I made some veggie tacos in a pita with a side of quinoa, it was loved by all! Well not SO much the quinoa, my family doesnt love quinoa, but it's SO good for you I've really been pushing it, and everyone ate it, and that's victory enough sometimes!

Two large bell peppers, color of your choice
1 large zucchini
Olive oil
Garlic or garlic powder (or your favorite spices)
Pita bread or tortillas for the taco

for the dressing/sauce whatever you want to call it
sour cream
a small dash of rooster sauce
tablespoon of ranch powder

Knowing all the ingredients now it's pretty self explanatory! 

Chop up the veggies, throw it in a pan with some olive oil and whatever spices you choose to use (garlic powder and parsley for me this time) and fry till it's the texture you like. We like a little bit of crunch so it took about 15 min. on medium heat. 

While I was frying the veggies I also made a small pot of quinoa for the side. 

For the dressing just mix in a few tablespoons of sour cream and a dash of rooster sauce (didn't add too much to make it not too hot for the kiddos!) and the ranch powder and mix. Difficult right? 

Throw the pita bread in the oven (or microwave if you don't want to turn your kitchen into a sauna in the summer) for a few minutes and then it's time to load that thing up!

I put some lettuce in first to get even more veggies into our meal, then the fried veggies and last a little of the dressing. 

Super simple, healthy and delicious! 

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Monday, June 24, 2013

The end of our breastfeeding journey

I started to write this in April and never finished and posted it, so here it is. 

Tindra has decided, all of a sudden that she is done nursing. She had a couple of days where she would fight it and only wanted to nurse a few times a day, and I was okay with that. After 11.5 months of nursing 6-7 times a day plus pumping twice a day (finally stopped that about two months ago) we are at a point now where she only needs to nurse a 3-4 times a day. I was actually excited about it. Relieved. Finally I wouldn't have to schedule things around where she would need to eat, because it was only in the morning, evening and before nap. This was going to be good I decided.

But then she decided a few days ago that NOPE she wasn't having Anything to do with my boobs. Every time I tried to nurse she would arch her back and scream. She was seriously pissed off. She wouldn't stop screaming till I put my shirt down. Every single time. I tried and tried. 6-7 times a day for the past 4 days. I tried when she was tired. I tried when she was happy. And mad. And sad. And content. I tried. Every single time she would start screaming bloody murder and act like I was torturing  her. And to her I'm sure I was. Trying to shove a (at times VERY full!) boob in her mouth when she clearly didn't want it? Yeah I guess that was torture to her. And it was for me to. I don't know of the two of us who has cried more this week. It Just might be me thought.

I have so many feelings about being done. I feel rejected. Sad. Slightly relieved. Disappointment that we didn't make it to 1 year (though I have enough breast milk in the freezer to get us there I think.) Free, for the first time in in almost two years my body is my own. And if I'm being completely honest, I feel a little depressed. It's like the baby blues times 10 for me. I can't put my finger on it, but I feel depressed. And that isn't something I say lightly. I don't get depressed. I get sad, sure but there hasn't been many times in my life I really have felt depressed. I've been feeling down, almost empty. I don't know how else to describe it. Last night I was sitting on the living room floor, with Tindra in front of me right before her bed time. This is when I would normally be nursing her for the last time of the day. My always favorite nursing session of the day. That's what I should have been doing, but instead I was watching her drink a bottle because she wouldn't even let me hold her while she drank it while playing with a ball. I said to Drew "I really miss her." And that sums it up. I physically miss her and I know that doesn't make sense. "You know she's right there right? " Drew said and looked at me like I was a little crazy. He doesn't get it. It's like right after she was born. I was so thrilled to have her next to me at the hospital, sleeping away in her bassinet, but I remember looking at her and missing her inside of me. 

I have a hard time with change. With 'last times' if you will. And knowing I had my last nursing session with her (or maybe ever, what if I don't have more kids, or maybe I do and can't nurse?) is really hard for me to wrap my head around. 

I don't even remember our last nursing session. I know it was in the evening. But was I checking my email on my phone as I often did since she's never been a power nurser, or was I staring at her beautiful face? Was she wrapping her finger around mine, or was she running her fingers through my hair? It was only a few days ago but I can't remember. And that's even more sad. 

And that's where I left off two months ago. 

Rereading what I wrote almost brings me to tears again. It was a rough couple of weeks for me (and probably for anyone that had to be around me!) I couldn't understand why I felt so down, it really didn't make any sense to me. I had been looking forward to the day where I would have my body back again. I didn't even LIKE nursing that much. In fact for months I absolutely hated it. Dreaded it. But then we got to a good place. But I still never got to one of those moms who just loves breast feeding. For me it was a way (THE best way) to feed my daughter and provide her with everything she needed. So when it suddenly ended, I was so sad and confused about WHY I was sad and confused. Probably doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

I was telling a friend during that day about how I had just been feeling off, not like myself, and she said the same thing happened to her when she weaned. I had honestly never heard of it so I did some googling and found out it's actually quite common to feel depressed when you stop breast feeding. It's just sadly one of those things that aren't talked about. And they should be! I wish I would have known that it's common and that I wasn't 'crazy' for feeling how I was feeling. I wish it wasn't so taboo to say "My daughter just self weened and I'm depressed about it." Instead, I basically hid out for a few weeks,not wanting to go anywhere, not wanting to talk to people. I wish my husband would have known that what I was going through was normal. That my feelings were normal because honestly, he wasn't the most supportive at that time. Maybe if we would have had some literature to go over together, warning us about this it would have been easier on both of us. 

Gradually it did get better. It wasn't like I woke up one day 'happy' again. But slowly, over a couple of weeks, I started to feel like myself, and began to enjoy having my body to myself (well mostly anyway;)

Has anyone else felt depression with weaning? How long did it last, and did you feel like you could talk about it?

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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Summer so far.

June is our least busy month of the summer, yet somehow it still seems crazy busy. Especially this week with Jasper's soccer camp in the mornings and baseball practice (and his first game tonight!) in the evenings. We are having such a great summer so far, and it's been amazing having Jasper home all day! Having him go back to school in the fall is going to be SO hard! He is at such a fun age, and it just keeps getting better and better! It's been almost 6 years and I still question how I got so lucky to be his mamma. 

Here's a little of what we have been up to! When I remember to take pictures :) All crappy iphone ones..

^Lots of library playtime has been going on. It's a good 90+ degree day activity.^

 ^Reading time for mamma has started back up again. And I couldn't be happier about it.^

^Zoo days with friends!^

 ^Farmers market pizza with bike rides has become our Saturday morning ritual^

 ^Weekly pool dates!^

 ^Lots and lots of family bike rides^
 ^Bocce! Jasper is quite good at it. ^

 ^Grossly hot days. The heat is my least favorite thing about summer. Ironic?^

 ^Watermelon! I swear we go through 20 pounds of watermelon a week^
 ^Splash park fun! This is a good one, I'll have to get some good pictures next time we go^

 ^More library play^

 ^Outdoor naps (this was at a friends house. I Really wish I had this door/window in my house!^

 ^Soccer camp! Where we have spent almost 15 hrs this week alone and we still have another day^

 ^Tball practice for Jasper, snack time for Tindra. Basically the way to keep her occupied is to feed her.Like mother like daughter^
 ^Did I mention lots of bike rides? This is just blocks from out house. So cozy and peaceful^

^ I've made it my personal mission to try a different donut every Saturday at the farmers market. So far carmel apple( this one) and passionfruit with chocolate in the middle are the winners^

What are YOU guys up to this summer? 
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Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Stuff my kid says

While watching the voice

Jasper 'mamma when are you going to go on the voice?'
Me 'oh probably never'
Jasper 'why not??'
Me ' because you have to be a really good singer'
Jasper thinks about it for a minute..

'sing for me, I think you could be on the voice you have a lovely voice' (yes he used the word lovely)

I sing a fantastic rendition of Sammy Seal from his Alphafriends CD his teacher made him

He studies me for a minute when I'm done.

'welllllll you probably shouldn't go on the voice but I still like it when you sing to me'

Thanks buddy, I sure do like singing to you as well, even if you don't think I'm Quite 'The Voice' ready. 

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Tuesday, June 18, 2013

We had a great weekend celebrating the best pappa around. He's a great dad and the kiddos (and I!) am lucky to have him!
We let him pick whatever he wanted to do on Sunday, and originally he chose to go to the new splash park (after we let him sleep in till 9:30!!) , but as we were waiting for Tindra to wake up from her awesome 3 hour nap, the weather changed from nice and sunny to rain in about 30 seconds. 
A friend in Boulder said it was still nice there though so we decided to head there for a late lunch and some frisbee golfing (one of Drew's favorites) to put one of his new fathers day presents ( new disc) to use. 
We of Course had to go to Pita Pit while in Boulder ( I have a pita pit story for another day) and then walked on Pearl Street for a while and let Jasper splash around in the street fountains there. Oh and we shared a snow cone that was bigger then Jasper's head. 

Happy (late) father's day to all you awesome dads out there! 
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