I'm ready to share my 'depressing weekend' I talked about.

I'm the type of person that when something really upsets me, I have a hard time talking about it. It's easier for me to try not to think about it, and not talk about it. I'm not saying it's a healthy way to cope- but its how I do things.

My senior yr. in high school a very good friend of mine, who always was sort of an ex, died from brain cancer. It's taken me over 5 years to be able to talk about without breaking down.

Last weekend I found out my grandma, my moms mom, my grammy, has brain tumors and breast cancer. It's shitty. Seriously so shitty. And she's far away. North Carolina to be exact. And now we aren't sure if they can make it to the wedding. Which is also really shitty. Before you go thinking " Oh wow shes thinking about her wedding when her grandma is sick" thats not how it is. The part I am looking toward to THE MOST about our wedding is seeing family and friends I don't see very often. I see that side of my family MAYBE every other year because they are in Florida and North Carolina. Thats pretty much the only reason we didn't go off in the mountains and get married like we thought about. Because I wanted to see my family. Which is why this is so devastating right now. But I talked to my grandma an hour ago, and she's really hoping they are going to make it. But it's a 20 hr drive. And she's doing radiation every day for two weeks- stopping just 5 days before the wedding- and she's taking chemo pills. And I watched my strong, healthy 16 year old friend go through that for three years, and it was so much on his body. So I'm not expecting her to come, but it will be oh so amazing if she does come.