Here's why. Jasper is my sensitive soul. He was (and still is) the kid at the playground that gets upset when someone else is in pain. Even before he could walk, if he was at the park and a kid was crying or even just throwing a tantrum and looked upset- J would make his way over to the crying child and just stand there with his big brown eyes looking upset. He absolutely hates seeing anyone in pain, it stresses him out and makes him upset.
When it comes to ME being in pain or hurt? Forget about it, he's inconsolible. In March when I sprained my ankle I had twisted it so bad I blacked out for a second and couldn't get up- I yelled out once but seeing how terrified and upset Jasper was, I calmly (or as calmly as I could) reached for my phone and called Drew who ran home because he worked only a block away at the time. Jasper spent the whole next week propping his foot up along side mine with sympathy pain.
When I had 16 weeks of morning sickness and was constantly throwing up, he would stand, with a worried look in the hall way watching me and as soon as I was done he would run over and hug me and at times even cry saying "But I don't waaaaant you to be sick." Like I said, he's super sensitive when it comes to others being sick or hurt.
Labor is painful. Long. And hard. If I had to be trying to focus on smiling through it all for Jasper I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make it. And I would never risk traumatizing him by him having to see mom in that much pain. Drew could barely handle labor because seeing me in that much pain was torture for him. Maybe if I'd had one of those 6 hr labors w 10 min of pushing I hear about it would be a different story, but Jasper's 20+ hr labor and 3+ hrs of pushing has me pretty firm on NO KIDS IN DELIVERY ROOM!
And the blood? He could NEVER handle it nor would I want him to or expect him too. My sister, who was 19 at the time came in the delivery room 10 minutes after Jasper was born almost fainted at the sight of all the blood on the floor. And Jasper is only 4! True not everyone bleeds like I did with the hemmoraging and blood transfusion being brought in- but either way, not something I need my 4 year old to witness. Now if for some reason 8-9 years from now we are having a baby and this baby and possibly Jasper would want to be in the room? Then we could talk about it, but for now it's definitely a NAY for our family.
Our plan is for Jasper to have a sleep over at a friends house the night before I go in for my c-section, and these friends will bring Jasper to the hospital afterwards. Not sure how soon after since I don't really know how the c-section thing will work out but it will be a few hrs at least. Then he will stay there for a while, maybe go grab dinner with Drew and then go have a sleep over at a different friends house so he is distracted and having lots of fun!
What do you guys think? Would you consider having your child in the delivery room?
What do you guys think? Would you consider having your child in the delivery room?
Thanks for linking up with us! And I totally agree with you that each child is different and each labor is different. If my girls were the sensitive type that reacted strongly to someone being in pain I probably would do things differently. And if my labors were long and rough I may as well.... but for me (well the two times so far) have been a rather boring day of regular contractions and then about 20 to 30 minutes of pushing. Anyhow - I am super happy you linked up and hope you can join us again! :)
ReplyDeleteAwww it sounds like you have the sweetest boy! I totally understand where you coming from and that makes perfect sense. And as for the long labors, that's what I was thinking last time. My labor was 22 hrs and I did not want to have to worry about my daughters during that time. I would have been fine with it if I had an adult there for them, but not them being alone.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thanks for linking up this week! I hope we see you again next week :)
I absolutely agree with you. I wouldn't want my child to see me in that much pain. And, I think it would take my focus off of the "mission."
ReplyDeleteWHen I gave birth to my daughter my son was in the room. He was 2 1/2 at the time and was just fascinated watching his sister come into the world and was in love with her.
ReplyDeleteMy friend also had her daughter there but she was much younger and was in her stroller and saw nothing.
I wanted Judah and Ora in the delivery room when I had their brother but I decided that for 1 my daughter is too naughty and would just cause more of a hard time and 2 I went into labor in the middle of the night so we just dropped them off at my parents to sleep and 3 I ended up with a c-section because he was too big! He was 10 lbs 13 oz and my body just wouldn't allow him to be born naturally.
WHen I gave birth to my daughter my son was in the room. He was 2 1/2 at the time and was just fascinated watching his sister come into the world and was in love with her.
ReplyDeleteMy friend also had her daughter there but she was much younger and was in her stroller and saw nothing.
I wanted Judah and Ora in the delivery room when I had their brother but I decided that for 1 my daughter is too naughty and would just cause more of a hard time and 2 I went into labor in the middle of the night so we just dropped them off at my parents to sleep and 3 I ended up with a c-section because he was too big! He was 10 lbs 13 oz and my body just wouldn't allow him to be born naturally.