Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Let's talk skin.

Pregnancy skin to be more specific. Stretch marks to be even MORE specific. 
I was semi-lucky the first time around. I made it through 9.5 months ore pregnancy with out a single stretch mark. Now before you go thinking 'lucky bitch' in your mind, I did say SEMI lucky. Which also means semi- UNlucky. I made it through 9.5 months with out a single, ugly stretch mark. But then about a week after I had my gorgeous, just under 9 lb, 22 inch baby, I noticed some stretch marks on boobs. Okay, that's to be expect. I went from a 32 B to a C during pregnancy. And 5 days after I had him and my milk came in they exploded, yes exploded, to a FF! I didn't even know boobs CAME that big. And on my tiny 5'6, pre pregnancy 110 lb frame they made me look like a porn star. No joke. So yeah, I can't even blame my poor boobs for stretch marks appearing. 

But that wasn't the end. A few days later I noticed white lines on my ASS. Yeah, seriously. My ass. And then the inside of my thighs. And apparently, its because my hips didn't expand during pregnancy like they are supposed to, they waited till 10 days AFTER giving birth to expand. Thanks hips, I have a feeling childbirth would have been just a dad easier if you would have expanded those two inches BEFORE I gave birth. Apparently they missed the memo. 

And then the worst appeared. STRETCH MARKS ON MY CALVES!! I wish I was kidding you. Who the hell gets stretch marks on their CALVES? This girl, that's who. I. was. Mortified. I cried. Yes, I'm the vain girl that cries when she gets stretch marks. But really it was the last straw. Not only did my hips expand several inches so not a single pair of my old jeans fit, my my fingers got thicker making my rings not fit, my boobs were gigantic and i HATED them, my ass looked a cat had scratched in, my FEET even grew a size so 99% of my shoe collection (WHICH I had been building for years) no longer fit but now even my CALVES were covered in stretch marks? It was a sad sad day. 

I googled every home remedy and tried it all. I can't even remember all of them now, but I know it involved a lot of exfoliating and applying gross stuff to my legs several times a day.

I got to the point where I just didn't have the time (or possibly didn't care as much) anymore and stopped paying attention to them. Then one day, almost a year later when I was putting on a swim suit for the first time in a while and I noticed they were GONE! I'm not sure if it was all my remedies or if they just faded over time, but the calve stretch marks were 100 percent gone!! (True story I just pulled my pant leg up at Panera to make sure I saw absolutely zero trace of them.) I wish I could say the same for my but and inner thighs, I still have a few faint white lines there, but you can barely see those unless I'm naked so I'm not too concerned about that. 

Somehow I got lucky first time around not to get a single stretch mark on my stomach- which makes no sense to me since it looked like I swallowed a large basketball by the time I had him, but I might not get as 'lucky' this time around. This time around Im showing a lot sooner, and my belly is expanding a lot bigger. I have a feeling I'm going to get HUGE by the time she comes. And I hate to say it, but  I'm apparently still as vein this time around because I'm taking way more precaution this time around to make 'sure' (like you can Really make sure you don't get stretch marks) I don't get them like I did last time. I really don't want to add any more to my lovely little collection.

Just realized it's time to go get Jasper from preschool so I'll have to continue this lovely story later..I know you are all just DYING to hear more about my stretch marks.. 

18 comments:

  1. Hugs! First time here and haven't yet gotten one but I'm only 23 weeks along. I figure they'll happen - at some point. I use lotion and we'll see if that helps. Sometimes my stomach feels like it needs to grow out 3 inches or so, just hurts and pulls - but no stretching yet, we'll see! Goodluck to you, hope they stay away this time!

    ReplyDelete
  2. And I thought I was he only one on earth to not get stretch marks on my belly but get them everywhere else. But for me they all came during my middle school grow spurts, long before pregnancy, so I got used to ignoring them long ago. The "good thing" about stretch marks on the calves, butt, boobs etc. is that they don't make your skin look saggy like the stomach ones. If you don't have a tan, they are pretty much invisible (although to us they look HUGE of course). Anyway, I was planning to do a post soon on preventing belly stretchies with stretch mark oil. Maybe it was just luck, but I really thought the oil helped...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Highly energetic article, I enjoyed that a lot.

    Will there be a part 2?

    Also visit my page; wiki.nexuiz.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello all, here every one is sharing these kinds
    of experience, therefore it's fastidious to read this weblog, and I used to pay a visit this web site all the time.

    My web-site buy gallium arsenide solar cells

    ReplyDelete
  5. I visited several sites but the audio quality for audio songs current
    at this web site is actually excellent.

    Take a look at my blog ... http://www.gourwiki.com/labs/index.php?title=Also_Your_Energy_Service_Fees_And_Appeal_In_Order_To_Really_Green_Tenants

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog so i came to
    “return the favor”.I'm attempting to find things to improve my web site!I suppose its ok to use some of your ideas!!

    Here is my web page ... ford ranger

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for the auspicious writeup. It if truth be told used
    to be a leisure account it. Glance complicated to far delivered agreeable
    from you! By the way, how could we communicate?



    Feel free to visit my web blog ... laser stretch mark removal

    ReplyDelete
  8. I am not sure where you are getting your information, but good topic.
    I needs to spend some time learning more or understanding more.
    Thanks for excellent information I was looking for this info for my
    mission.

    Feel free to visit my blog http://kredytopedia.pl/w/index.php?title=Frd_Parts_Dealer_Will_Stay_Attuned_To_Ford_s_Superior_Standards

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on stretch marks sun.
    Regards

    Take a look at my weblog :: softclear.net

    ReplyDelete
  10. Link exchange is nothing else but it is only placing the
    other person's weblog link on your page at suitable place and other person will also do same for you.

    Feel free to surf to my webpage - stretch mark lotion

    ReplyDelete
  11. Nice post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon everyday.
    It will always be interesting to read articles from other writers and use something from their web sites.


    My web blog; stretch mark lotion

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins
    to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good success.
    If you know of any please share. Many thanks!

    Also visit my web site ... How to get rid Of stretch marks

    ReplyDelete
  13. Have you ever considered about including a little bit more than just your
    articles? I mean, what you say is valuable and all.
    Nevertheless just imagine if you added some great images or video clips to give your posts more, "pop"!
    Your content is excellent but with images and clips, this website could definitely
    be one of the most beneficial in its niche. Amazing blog!


    my website :: narutoreturn.Net

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?
    I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not
    seeing very good success. If you know of any please share.
    Thank you!

    Also visit my web-site: http://soheit.com/

    ReplyDelete
  15. Good day I am so delighted I found your site, I really found you
    by mistake, while I was researching on Bing for something else, Regardless I am here
    now and would just like to say thanks a lot for a marvelous post and a all round interesting blog (I also
    love the theme/design), I don’t have time to go through it all at the minute but I have bookmarked it and also
    added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will
    be back to read a great deal more, Please do keep up the fantastic work.


    Take a look at my web-site :: stretch mark lotion

    ReplyDelete
  16. This design is spectacular! You most certainly know how to keep a reader entertained.
    Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to
    start my own blog (well, almost...HaHa!) Fantastic job.

    I really loved what you had to say, and more than that,
    how you presented it. Too cool!

    Visit my web blog :: http://mediawiki.blueoxygen.org/index.php?title=User:LindaTrip

    ReplyDelete
  17. A fascinating discussion is definitely worth comment. I do think
    that you ought to write more about this topic, it might not be a taboo subject
    but usually people do not speak about such issues.
    To the next! All the best!!

    my website :: trick photography and special effects

    ReplyDelete
  18. Established transportation infrasctructure
    for a plethora of lifestlye, dining and entertainment.
    the interlace

    ReplyDelete