Dropping Jasper off today for his first day of school came with so many mixed emotions, and most emotions for me = tears. Whenever I feel things hard I cry. It's just what I do. So when I'm feeling so many things all at once, oh you better believe the tears were long and hard.
I felt so proud watching him march right up to a new friend and tell him he was sitting next to him. So incredibly proud. He's braver than I am.
I felt old today also, which doesn't happen too often being the youngest parents around by probably close to a decade. Having a first grader, that's just so different (for me) than having a pre schooler or even kindergartner.
I felt, and still do feel, so incredibly sad to see him go off to school. I know it sounds dramatic, but it feels like the beginning of the end of having him home with me. The beginning of the end of him being my baby. Soon he will be going off to junior high, then high school, and then college. And even thinking about him leaving home, well it honestly feels like a knife in my side. Imagining that day is unbearable for me. (And yes, Drew thinks I'm incredibly dramatic)
I felt terrified. That's my baby. The one who I have spent pretty much every day for the past 6 years with, protecting, advocating for and doing everything in my power to keep him happy and safe. Now that's someone else's job for a big chunk of the day. And that is so hard and terrifying.
But most of all, I'm just so happy for Jasper. Thrilled he gets to experience school and new friends. I absolutely Loved school. And I want the same for him. And he LOVES to learn and was quite frankly getting bored at home with Tindra and I every day. It's time for him to be around kids his own age.
Only 2 more hours till I get to pick him up and hear all about his day!!
^I promise you he was excited about school, just not about the pictures I was insisting on^
And here for his kindergarten firs day pictures..
Sorry if this post was all jumbled. I've been sort of a wreck today, chugging lots of coffee which hasn't helped my nerves at All! Imagine that!
thats hard mama- hang in there! you have raised an amazing son!
ReplyDeletethanks liz, I believe we have raised an amazing boy!
Deletelook how big hes gotten! and tindra too
ReplyDeletesuch a big difference in just a year!
Deletedramatic much?
ReplyDeletepossibly. i've never been accused of not being dramatic enough.
DeleteAww, hang in there! I can't imagine how it'll be for me when Micha goes to school, I bet I'll be a hot mess too :)!
ReplyDeleteBut it's such great thing he's going to school too, just imagine how much he'll learn and how well (I bet) he'll do!
you are absolutely right, he will learn so much! it's just hard letting go :)
DeleteI´m sure he´ll be just fine and have a wonderful time at school! I just started working on an after-school program for first-graders, and it´s so much fun. There was some crying because the kids missed their mommy during the first week, but now they´re so busy playing outside, that they don´t have time for that anymore. And they all love going to school and learning things!
ReplyDeletefun! I worked at a before/after school program in college, such a fun job :)
DeleteAlan's first day of preschool is next Tuesday, I am sure I will also be a wreck. It seems like such a weird thing that I will have only Anna for 3 hours a day now, I've been so used to always having Alan with me too... But he is very excited. :) Looks like Jasper was too! I hope he had a good day!
ReplyDeleteAnna and Tindra have the same dress lol! Love that dress. :)