It's just hair.

Right? That's what I keep telling myself. But really it's more than that. It's been his identity for so long. The boy with the long hair. 

Jasper has been saying for a couple months that he wants to get a hair cut. 'Short like a boy' were his exact words one day. Apparently some kids at school have been telling him his hair looks like a girl. 

But the thing is, he LOVES his long hair. He always has. And I always have. I can't tell you how many compliments we get on his hair. And how many 'DONT EVER CUT IT' comments. But also, a lot of 'She's so adorable' comments and 'She looks just like you's. 

Anytime he would bring up cutting his hair, we would talk about just because one or two kids in his class say something negative doesn't mean we should change something about ourselves. I don't know how many times I've said "If so and so says he doesn't like your favorite blue shirt, does that mean you should just stop wearing it?" And the answer is always something like "No, that would be silly" and it's usually the end of the discussion. 

I don't want him growing up thinking he needs to change something about himself just because someone else doesn't like that about him. But at the same time, I don't want him getting teased either, ya know? It's such a fine line to walk. Teaching them to be themselves, but also trying to keep the bullies at bay. Agh this parenting this just gets SO much harder the older they get!

Lately, the comments about cutting his hair have been more frequent, and it was getting SUPER long, long past due for a trim. So we made an appointment to get a trim. 

On the way there he asked if he could get it short, like daddy! We compromised and we said we could get it cut shorter than usual, but still keeping it longer. Win right? 

Drew made himself an appointment at the same time, and while I was going in between supervising Jasper and Drew's cuts (yes Drew needed his supervised as well) somehow Jasper ended up with about 3 inches shorter than planned. And way way shorter than what I had explained to the hairdresser.

And when I laid eyes on his hair, shorter than it's been since he was 2, I came as close to crying as I possibly could. I was about to freak out on the hairdresser when I looked at Jasper's face. Not just his hair. Staring at himself in the mirror. With the biggest grin possible on his face. 

"Mom, I look so good!" He said. So I choked back my tears and smiled as big as I could. "Wow you sure do Jasper"

All day he kept running to look at himself in the mirror. And each time he came out of the bathroom he had such a huge grin on his face. He was even afraid to shower the next morning because he was afraid his hair would 'get big again.' 

I miss his long hair. I really really do. He looks about three years older with his short hair, and that breaks my heart. I want him to stay my little boy forever. I want other kids opinions Not to matter. I want him to stay innocent and young. And this hair cut is forcing the reality on me that that's just not possible. 

Yes I know it's just hair. And it will grow. And maybe his hair cut will even grow on me, but for now I will keep grinning with him and telling him how much I love his hair, because that's what mammas do.

Have you ever wanted to cry after getting your kids hair cut or am I the only drama queen around?