Monday, February 24, 2014

Putting myself out there.

I have a terrible time doing that. For some reason I have this horrible fear of rejection. Drew and I were recently having a conversation about that, and he think's it's just crazy that I have this deep fear  since I've never even really be rejected. It's not meant to sound 'braggy' by any means, but it's how it is. I was never rejected by some guy, or girls, I was never on the outside of some group I wanted to be a part of. I fit in. If I wanted to date a guy, I did. If I wanted to be friends with a certain person, I was friends with them. Besides a brat in 4th grade who made fun of my ear on my first day of school in America, I was never mocked or ridiculed. All things that would naturally make someone fear rejection, I never had. It doesn't make sense that I'm like this. That I don't ever want to put myself out there for fear or rejection or failure. But it's just how I am. I'm not shy, I just don't put myself in situations, if I can help it, where I am setting myself up for possible failure or rejection. 

I don't go up to a group of women talking at the park or school or some social situation and join in on the conversation. What if they wonder what the hell I'm doing joining in on Their conversation?

I don't invite someone over for brunch or coffee unless I'm positive they will say yes. What if they said no, the horror. 

I don't tell people 'in real life' about this blog. How silly they would think it is. 

I haven't told many people in my life that I have this passion for photography that I actually want to DO something about. What if I fail? I wouldn't want anyone to know that. 

Until now. My big goal for this year, is to put myself out there. Not be afraid or rejection. Or mockery. Or silent judgement that is sure to come. Just to be myself. And a big step in doing this for me is sharing what I've been working on for the past 10-11 months. My photography. I don't know what will come out of it. And that's okay! Maybe it will turn into a successful photography business. Or maybe nothing will come out of it. Or maybe it will continue how it's been for the past 6 months, a  photo shoot here and there. Any of those outcomes is okay, but being afraid to put myself out there is not. 

If you care to take a look (and like!) I would very much appreciate it, especially if you are local! 

DarleneLynn Photography

Regardless it feels good just to get it out! 

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  1. You should have no fear!! You are so talented my friend

  2. This sounds familiar! YAYYYY. And good for you! :)

  3. Great job Darlene! You definitely are talented!

    1. Thanks Maria! Maybe one of these days I can take some pictures of your adorable family in Amsterdam :) That would be a dream come true on so many levels!!

    2. Thanks for sharing your fears. I think it's normal for humans to fear rejection and failure. Since I became a Christian as a teenager, it took me a few years to realize my identity and not fear others. God wants us to live free of anything that would hold us back from the wild adventure He has for us. Remember you were born to change the world, to make a difference! ( Jesus knows what rejection feels like so if you have a relationship with Him, He will help you through anything.) I am praying for you, and your photography is truly good so I'm glad you started the business!

    3. Thank you so much Nadya for your sweet comment! And you are absolutely right, He doesn't want us to live in fear! I don't know why it hadn't even crossed my mind to pray about these fears, I seem to leave praying for BIG things, like keeping my children safe and healthy that it totally slips my mind to pray about small things such as this! Thanks again for your comment! Definitely made me think :)

  4. Amazing photos..! i really impressed about these photos.