tales of a young mamma

I'm just so incredibly sad and really at a loss for words about the elementary shooting in Connecticut. When I first read online at Tindra's doctor appointment (poor girl has a double ear infection) about there being a school shooting I assumed high school. And I felt immediate sadness. Not shock, but sadness.

Then I continued reading in the parking lot of Walgreens waiting for T's meds and read that it was an elementary school. And that 20 young kids were brutally murdered. And the sadness turned into shock, anger, fear, panic, and major anxiety. I have felt a heavy sense of sadness and anxiety since hearing this horrible news. Loosing my faith in humanity. 

I hugged Tindra close and watched the clock and news all afternoon. I called Drew even knowing he was in meetings all day. I called my mom and we cried together on the phone. I wanted so badly to go get my own kindergartner out of school. I just wanted to hug him.

I ended up leaving 20 minutes early to pick him up. The anxiety just got too much and I couldn't sit at home any longer. I needed to see my boy. I hugged him so tight and for so long. And he let me. I think he sense that I Needed this.

Last night as we were praying for the children and their families he said "And God, please give them a big hug when they get to you." And I lost it. Full on ugly crying for the 3rd time yesterday.

Today as the news showed a list of the names of everyone lost, I read the names out loud, tears streaming. I needed to say the names out loud for their mamma's. I just can't imagine the horrors they are facing, wishing they could wake up from their worst nightmare. 

Today as I am feeling like our world is turning to absolute shit and that everyone is evil ( I know everyone Isn't but when sometimes like this happens, it feels like there is more evil than good) and I read about THIS. A Blog post where people are sharing their stories and needs, and so many others offering to help any way they can. It's restoring my faith in humanity seeing strangers give so freely to others, no questions asked, not expecting or wanting anything in return. 

If you have a real need this holiday for some help, go here and share your story. Or if you are able to help someone out. I'm helping a couple different families, and it thrills me to be able to do so. Or even if you just need to read about kindness of strangers, go HERE.