Today Jasper came home and told me right away he got in Red at school. Red is BAD. He has gotten in red once before when a kid pushed him down and Jasper decided to throw a rock at him. Like I said, it's reserved for BAD things.
So what did Jasper get in red for? Throwing a rock at a kid? Nope. Pushing a kid? Nope. He got in red for...wait for it.
Kissing a girl. On the cheek.
Obviously I'm upset with Jasper for getting in RED in school. It's not acceptable what so ever. But how do I 'punish' my kindergartner for kissing a girl? On the cheek?
I told Jasper to go sit at the table with a snack and went and called Drew. Drew's reaction? He laughed.
Men.
It's definitely Not funny. And needs to be address obviously. But punishing a 5 year old for something that isn't technically bad? Inappropriate? Yes. Especially if she didn't want him to. Which I'm having a hard time getting that part of the story out of them. I think he's confused. And embarrassed. And knows he did Something wrong.
I've heard of other kids getting expelled for kissing at school. Which I personally think is way to far, for young kids. I'm not talking a high schooler kissing. These are children.
So now I'm waiting on pins and needles wondering if I'm going to get a call from an upset parent.
Am I underacting? Should I think this is a bigger deal that it is? I see it as an innocent (yet inappropriate) kiss on the cheek between friends. Something that needs to be calmly discussed with him. He needs to know (and has been told) this isn't something we do at school or with friends, and kisses gets reserved for family members. But putting him in 'red' reserved for BAD BAD actions, I personally think is a little much.
What do you guys think? Appropriate or an over reaction?
Wow overaction for sure. I agree, it needs to be addressed but I wouldn't punish in anyway, especially since it's obviously the first time - they just needed to set him aside and explain that we don't do that at school and let you know. If he had a problem with not listening to repeated reminders maybe some firmer punishment for not following rules. Yikes, goodluck with this one, sounds like you are handling it well.
ReplyDeleteI agree about if there was a previous warning but as far as I know there hasn't been! Unless maybe another kid has already gotten in trouble for kissing and the class was already addressed. Either way he now knows the rules and hopefully he can keep his kisses for his mamma!
DeleteI'm not a parent but good grief what has the world come to? We live in a world full of school shootings and little guys are getting in trouble for spreading love and kissing? That's nuts. The teacher should have been able to explai that to him without that sort of punishment.
ReplyDeleteI definitely think things are a lot stricter in those regards then when I was in elementary school, which wasn't THAT long ago!
DeleteI think that might be a little over reaction! I remember when I was in kindergarten, my guy friend kissed me right on thr check right in front of my mom and teacher, and I don't believe he got in trouble! Oh how things change!
ReplyDeleteP.s. found your blog from thr giveaway! Can't wait to read more post!
I went to kindergarten in Sweden and remember playing a game in glass where we got to pick if we wanted to give a kiss on the cheek, hug or handshake to everyone..things are definitely different here!!
DeleteI do a lot of subbing. Usually they have a "stoplight" for when they get "in trouble". You start on green, then the first offense is yellow, the second is red. I personally don't think it's that big of a deal when they are that young, unless it's something major like you said-hitting or throwing a rock. Your son showed love for another human being, and that shouldn't be discouraged, but praised. i would explain to him, that at home, it's ok to kiss people on the cheek, but at school they don't like you to do that, because not everyone likes it (or whatever you think needs to be said about it). I wouldn't put fear into him about Red. He may have forgotten to sit down on time, or did some other thing that led him to yellow, then led him to red. They are learning right now. If this was a 10 year old, it would be a different scenario. Stuff like that just makes the teachers uneasy, because it's a Very Gray area. 20 years ago, it wouldn't have moved a color. Times are different, and people are very conscientious of offending others or crossing the line. Any time the card is changed, it's an opportunity to learn, not to "get in trouble". I actually smiled when I read it. I think it's sweet. Did he say whether it was his "girlfriend"? Kids are so cute and funny :) I would sit down with him without making him feel like he's in trouble, and that you understand. If you can't get any details out of him, you could always call the teacher to see the situation. I think it's way better than the boy who hits and spits on people ;)
ReplyDeleteThey do something sort of like a stop light but yellows are for not very serious offenses and red are reserved for 'serious' trouble. And they can get in yellow several times a day so it was red he got into based on his action not for another offense first. It sounds like a friend told him to kiss her, she laughed about it so he did. Then got in trouble. He can definitely be a bit of a follower I'm noticing and doing things other kids tell him which is not good! I agree it's definitely a gray area and it's better to stop this sort of thing before they are in jr. high running around kissing at school, but I just wish they would have talked to him about it and said it's not something we do at school Before 'punishing' him. But oh well! We have definitely talked about it at home and he understands now ( I hope!) that we save kisses for family!
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