Saturday, July 21, 2012

Sadness

My heart is heavy right now. 

I woke up Friday morning to 6 different text messages. It was 6 AM so I knew something was up. Once my eyes adjusted to the light of my Iphone I was able to read text messages from my sister and friends, texts like
"Wow how close are you to Aurora?"
"Aurora, isn't that where Jasper goes to preschool?"
"Isn't that the movie theater we have gone to?"

I was confused. But a quick google search just typing in Aurora brought me the news of the theater shooting.

I literally jumped out of bed and turned on the TV, and on it stayed all day. 

I'm sure this is tragic and traumatizing for the whole country. But being this close to such a shocking, tragic event is absolutely devastating. It's consumed probably 90% of my thoughts in the past 30+ hrs. 

We live in Denver. But Jasper goes to preschool in Aurora. Just 2 miles or so from where this tragedy took place. 

As soon as I heard that there was a 3 month old involved I couldn't stop thinking about a mom at J's school that has a preschool age son but also a 3 month old daughter. They live next to the school so this movie theater is the closest on to their house. I knew it was unlikely that it was them- but I didn't know for sure. (I do now)

I hold my breath every time I see a knew victim has been identified. Praying hard that it won't be a name I recognize. That it won't be Jasper's preschool teachers, or the wonderful people from the church there, or anyone from the vacation bible school he attended there a few weeks. 

The sadness I feel for the victim's families and friends is indescribable. And the sadness for our state, who has gone through a lot this summer. And here's the unpopular opinion of the day, I feel so much sadness for the shooters family. Unless it comes out they somehow knew about this before hand, or helped him in some way to become this evil, to commit such an evil crime, than I feel such sadness for them. Can you imagine finding something like this out about your son? Or your brother? Or Nephew? To have to live with the fact that your family did something like this would be completely unbearable. Please don't hate me for feeling like that. 

One more thing that's causing me so much sadness about this tragic event, hearing the judgemental comments about the victims! I saw numerous tweets and facebook comments questioning and judging the parents that had children in the movie theater. A 6 year old life was lost, not because the parents chose to take their child to the movies but because a man brought guns in and started shooting. To focus on the why a child was there is so disturbing to me. Who cares why a child was there? It was a movie, not a topless bar (the first place I could think of that should never have children there.) And the horrible comments I saw regarding a baby at the movies? Again WHO CARES. I have taken Tindra to a movie. She slept and nursed the entire time. Yes it was a family friendly movie (madagascar) but I don't think that matters. The point is the parents chose to take their children to the movies. The end. No one should judge them for that and express horrible comments about it. Focusing on the WRONG thing people!

Okay end rant.


13 comments:

  1. how could youpossibly feel bad for his parents? they raised a murderer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They may have raised him but they certainly did not raise him to be a murderer. If anything, they raised him to go to college and pursue his dreams of working in neuroscience. The actions of Friday morning were of his own- he committed the horrendous crimes; his parents did not.

      Have sympathy for them, as they are probably blaming themselves for not knowing what their son was going through before this occurred. I feel tremendously sorry for what they will likely go through and deal with for the rest of their lives for their own son's poor decision. He is someone I do not feel sorry for. The victims, the community, and the shooter's family are those that I DO feel sorry. They are innocent. He is guaranteed to be found guilty.

      Delete
    2. Yes exactly! I heard his parents have been getting death threats and that is just horrible. I don't feel sorry for him either, not in the slightest, but his parents, I just cant imagine how they are going to live with this.

      Delete
  2. Right, Anonymous, just like people "raise" alcoholics or people with mental illness. To suggest that the parents of the shooter had anything to do with the crime that man chose to commit is asinine.

    My heart goes out to the parents as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels this way.

      Delete
  3. Probably an inappropriate time to post this, but I think what inflamed me about the parent who brought the 4 month old is the fact that the father left the baby on the floor in the theater, his fiance protected the baby after getting shrapnel in her leg, and the father drove away! This sickened me more than anything, and I think why at least the father is taking heat. Agree though that a movie isn't a dangerous activity, and although they might be tired, its summer and a way alot of people bond.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No I COMPLETELY agree with the father leaving and driving away was effed up. I hope she thinks twice about marrying him. I don't think there was any excuse for what he did. THe flack I was talking about were just people shocked about bringing a baby or a 6 year old to the movie theater. When comments were made yesterday about the baby being there the story hadn't even come out about him leaving. After reading that today after I posted this I had an impossible time not judging him as well and have to admit I did and do judge him for leaving his children and fiance behind especially since he was the one holding the baby! Thank god the baby and 4 year old ended up okay otherwise I don't know how he would be able to live with himself.

      Delete
  4. I apologize if my comment above was insensitive, I should clarify that you are all in my prayers, and I'm heartsick to think of what these people went through. I pray you find peace and safety in your lives. I pray for the families of those affected by this senseless event (including the family of the attacker). I apologize for coming off crass, I just read the story about the father abandoning his baby, and driving away, and it truly turned my stomach and leaves me sick thinking of one of my children alone on the floor in that place. I didn't mean to come off as not caring though. I will pray for your family and hope you can all get through this sad time in your lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You definitely didn't come out that way! And thanks for sharing your opinion!

      Delete
  5. Theres no reason why a child should have been to a midnight movie.

    ReplyDelete
  6. WOW! You are SO CLOSE!! :( This whole thing saddens me fierce. Praying for your community. xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  7. i cant believe you are so so close, ugh makes my tummy ache.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I too feel sympathy for the shooters family just as I do for all the families affected. They are victims of this crime though they were not present. I can't imagine the burden of knowing you brought a person into this world that would callously take so many lives. I would be interested to know their relationship with their son and what they knew about how disturbed he is, but I have to believe they never suspected this would happen and now their lives are also turned upside down.

    ReplyDelete